Update

I wanted to give everyone an update…

First, Brett and I are just overwhelmed by all the love, prayers, thoughts, words of encouragement, support and hugs we have received from all of you! It is such a wonderful support and surprise to see each day! Thank you so much to all!

Brett brought my computer up to the hospital so I could catch up on each of the comments. I want you to know while I was not able to personally comment to all of your comments; I did read each and every one of them. In fact I read them daily as I sit here. It has helped me get through the hard times. I have treasured all of them! Many {{{ HUGS }}} back to each of you!

Thank you!

As of today, we have been at the hospital for eight days. After moving her from ICU, the doctors deactivated her temporary pacemaker on Tuesday, November 13th. Because of the double blood clout on both sides of her brain and the blood clout that hit her heart, the doctors were pretty sure that she wouldn’t be with us long after the pacemaker was turned off. But my mom never did anything that was expected. She has slowly progressed a little at a time through this process.

We have had bereavement counselors with us through this. They have given us things to read to help us understand this process. I don’t know which is better though; know or not knowing. Because we know what to except now, it seems that we are just watching for the next sign. It almost makes me feel like I am just sitting here waiting for her to die. It’s just really hard to wrap my mind around it all.

As for mom, she doesn’t feel anything. The stroke hit both sides of her brain and has left her with no more than basic body functions. They placed her on morphine from the beginning to help with any pain and to take the edge off the process for her. Two days ago she started having respiratory distress and they have doubled her morphine. So now she seems to be sleeping peacefully, but still laboring to breath. As of last night, her kidney stopped. With all this, we still don’t know how much longer she has. The doctor says 24 to 48 hours. But knowing her, she would just hang on to prove them wrong.

I do have to say that while it has been pure torture watching her slowly shutting down, the moments when she was aware and the chance to spend them with her is just priceless. Those times are now over. But what wonderful memories I have with her.

The hard part is yet to come. Whether it will be today, tomorrow or next week, I will stay here with her, hold her hand, wipe her forehead with a cool cloth and help her in her final moments to pass on to the next place.

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